Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize