Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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