my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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