im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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