yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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