Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
