it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
