just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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