Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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