come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I will pee on everything he values.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
