I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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