The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
