For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
