so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
