when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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