Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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