Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
