Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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