so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
