I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Alive.
So much puke
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
