Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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