We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize