david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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