I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
