Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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