I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Randomize
