Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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