why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
