think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
