things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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