The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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