i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
