i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
