Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I can't turn off my feet"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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