guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
