I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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