He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize