her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
