You're completely useless in the revolution.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
