R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
