I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
