We should be called the Road Head Warriors
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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