I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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