Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
