Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
