Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
it's great music for shaving your balls
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
