im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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