My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
