dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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