That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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