Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
