I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
