Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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