I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
