You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
