i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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