How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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