you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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