Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Randomize