I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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