im drinking this country out of the recession.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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