it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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