And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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