My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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