my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I will be naked everywhere
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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