Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
