It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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