went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
