He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
