Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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